Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
