I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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