I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
