i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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