Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
