I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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