Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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