i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
