I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
