I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We're too hungover to prance.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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