yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
