90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
