So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize