mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize