12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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