so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
