I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
