a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
well most of my day revolves around power hour
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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