Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
