Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
