The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
People in love make me want to vomit
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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