i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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