I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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