I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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