She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
