I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
