I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
sex in a hospital.. check
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
