I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i think my mom watched the whole time
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
