Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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