How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
