Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
