I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
