How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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