I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
