Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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