Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
