I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hippo gnu deer
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
