where am i from again
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
