drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
