Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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