We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i drank out of a bidet.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
