but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
