but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
