i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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