I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
