Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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