Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I enjoy the company of your penis
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
