One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
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He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
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bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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