we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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