I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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