Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
