Someone shit on the floor
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
