How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
