Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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