i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
