let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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